Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
