Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
this boner is exhausting
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
My feet surprised me
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
