Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
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