Whod you bang
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
