I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Randomize
