I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
