if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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