So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
