too bad you live with your parents still
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
