pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
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