return my video game
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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