On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
