i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
i came on her dog
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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