I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
