I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
