Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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