D3 body, D1 cock
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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