The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Houston, we have a blender
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
You are a genius and a whore.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
