I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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