hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
