can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Randomize
