Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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