Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
