bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Randomize
