Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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