why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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