We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
