Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Randomize
