I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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