you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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