he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
