I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
