do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
