he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
