I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I love you.
Bad choice
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
