Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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