Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
