And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Randomize