I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
