you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
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