I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
