she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
