sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize