so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
