Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Life is so much better after having sex.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
