We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
