Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
