READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
