id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
