I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
