i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
