I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
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