How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Randomize
