last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Randomize
