Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
