OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
