So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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