I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Randomize
