i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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