this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Randomize
