Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Randomize
