I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Randomize