It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
