I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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