redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
