im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
