dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
