So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
i will never coherently bang her
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Randomize
