It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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