I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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