I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Randomize
