So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
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